If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
