you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
