You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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