I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
