Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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