That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
