Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize