I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
