Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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