oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
