Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
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