2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
