So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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