I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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