But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
