i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
