if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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