3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
