toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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