i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
