Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
