this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
