I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
