I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
