I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
