you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
