Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Someone shattered a urinal.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize