he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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