I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
