were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize