with your own penis?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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