I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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