nut hugger
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
sarcasm needs its own font
I understand Curling. That high.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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