Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
