the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
