I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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