shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize