sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
