I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
