i would punch a child for taco bell
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
