You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
