i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
