You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
