fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
