I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
