she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
