i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
