Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize