Your tits are I can't wait for
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
