this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
