well you can't waste a boner
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this will be a night to untag.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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