You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
