I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
