I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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