I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize