He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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