chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
