Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
