Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
