You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
