I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
