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video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
